Friday, December 26, 2008
thou art?
POEMS FOUND IN TOILETS
THE 'FUTURE' IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY'
Excellent poems by not so famous poets...
found on toilet doors and walls.......
A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets .
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
There are also people who come in for a different purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Indian Fire Department wants you.
Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.
____________________________________
1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,"send me a brother"....
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away."
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference
between confident and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! "
6. Anger management?
Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
THE 'FUTURE' IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY'
Excellent poems by not so famous poets...
found on toilet doors and walls.......
A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets .
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
There are also people who come in for a different purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Indian Fire Department wants you.
Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.
____________________________________
1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,"send me a brother"....
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away."
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference
between confident and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! "
6. Anger management?
Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your toothbrush ."
| posted by amanduh at 12:29 AM
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